Anything to Worry About

I can remember the difficulty we had in picking names for our yet to be born children. Out of the millions of names that are available there are only so many that you like the sound of and lets face it, you are going to be yelling that name every day for at least 18 years. You may not know what names you like, but you are very sure about the ones you don’t like.

 

Part of the problem is that sometimes you are absolutely positive that the baby will be a boy because all of the signs point that way and the indications from all the old wives tales point one way or another. It turns out that babies can’t read the signs and aren’t old wives. Even if you guessed right, often when that little darling shows it’s face the name you picked just doesn’t fit the personality. Oh, I forgot that also into the mix is that you can’t pick a name that kids in the school yard will make fun of so shorten into something approximating a swear word. We ended up picking names that probably got the kids beaten up or at least ridiculed. I was a fan of Lord of the Rings!

 

I don’t know why I was named Kenneth, I guess I should have asked mom or dad while they were still alive. The biblical meaning is handsome and “ken” means to know. I’ve seen new born babies and although somewhat cute there is no way you could say they were handsome. I just did a Google search for famous Kenneths from the fifties, but no one is really a standout. When I was in grade 3 or 4 there were five Kennys in the class so I have to assume there was some famous Ken and I will never know who it is.

 

I was born Kenneth but for most of my childhood and until mom passed away I was known as “Kenny”. The banks, my employer, lawyers and all government departments know me as Kenneth. For the rest of the world I am Ken. There was a time in my twenties when a guy I worked with called me Dave and I never bothered to correct him. About three months passed and one of our coworkers asked him why he called me Dave and not Ken. He was a little miffed that I just let him go on, but we both knew who he was talking to.

 

Or current Premier in Alberta is Jason Kenney and I don’t think I will get much of an argument when I say that he is a humungous asshole. Well, I might from other right wing assholes, but not by anyone that I respect. I tend to live and let live, just hoping that the son-of-a-bitch will be assassinated, get sick and die from Covid or just stare up into the sky when it’s raining and drown. Yep, I a glass is half full kind of guy.

 

A couple of weeks ago my wife got a package I the mail with a cup inside. On the cup was the slogan “FUCK YOU KENNEY”.

 

Now, I know that my name is spelled Kenny and Louise always calls me “Ken” or “hey you” or “stupid” or “my first husband”, but is more than a little unnerving to walk into a room and see her drinking from a cup that says “FUCK YOU KENNEY”.

 

I am sure I don’t have anything to worry about.