I guess that I am a human Magpie. That is a little
disturbing because as a general rule I kinda hate magpies. I don’t wish them
dead…yes I do, what’s a few million less pests in the world. That’s probably
what Covid 19 fans are saying right now.
When I say that I am like a magpie I mean that I just
can’t resist small shiny things. I see a bit of wire, a washer, nut, broken
cell phone, cool looking hunk of glass, of course nickels and dimes and I can’t
stop myself from picking them up. A few years ago I needed a couple of washers
for a project that I was working on and when I went to Rona they wanted 11¢ for
each one. What the hell! How much can a washer cost to make and market? I guess
11cents. From that moment on I refuse to step over any piece of hardware on principle.
The principle is that I am cheap.
Most of the things I pick up find their way into a
box, jar or tin can which is then put out of sight until I need a washer, nut
or bolt. Then, after two hours of going through many random containers I come
to the realization that I will have to make a trip to Rona. Yes, I did waste
time, but I might have saved myself 11¢.
This Corona virus is really impacting my inner Magpie.
For one thing, there is less trash being tossed out of car windows because
there are fewer trashy people driving on the roads. That is a good thing for
the environment I guess but there isn’t much to see. The other problem I am
having is that even if there is something interesting that I see, I dare not
pick it up. What if one of those trashy people decided to lick a washer, nut or
bolt and then toss it out the window. How would I know if he/she were clear of
Covid 19 virus. I am trying to stay healthy like everyone in the world.
If I got sick I don’t want to have to explain to the
doctor or nurse that I probably caught the virus when I picked up a shiny bit
of metal off the road and then touched my face. Yes, I kissed the washer! It is
like finding one and a tenth of a dime! How could I not?
Shit!
I have to say goodbye to my inner Magpie for the
duration of this worldwide epidemic. Who is suffering more than me? Sure, millions
of sick people, the doctors, nurses, truck drivers, teachers, students that
will miss the last couple of months of school, supermarket employees, anyone
that owns or works in a restaurant or really anyone that is working at all and
of course Louise. I’m suffering more than some retired people.
Sucks to be me!