A Little Easier To Take

I am on my third and last dog.

I never had a dog when I was a kid, I don’t think my dad saw any use in them at all. Maybe mom didn’t like dogs, I really don’t know. What I do know is that my brother and I never had the opportunity to be responsible to pick up dog crap on a regular basis. I had a vision of teaching a dog to catch Frisbees, wrestle with me, share my popsicles, act as my wingman to help me meet girls and just love me unconditionally. Yes, I know that only happens in the movies, but I could dream.

The closest I came to a dog was when I was eight and had my tonsils out. I must have been really scared and asked for a dog if I was to go through with the operation. I didn’t get a dog and I didn’t get to eat ALL the ice cream I wanted either. My throat was too sore to swallow anything. Instead of a dog I got a moulting canary. It could only give a pathetic Peep and would shed feathers every now and then. Crappy pet for a little kid.

Anyways, I have made up for not having a pet for the past thirty years or so. I have had the pleasure of walking the dogs, picking up after them and trying to work my life around what is best for the damned dog. Don’t get me wrong, I do get pleasure from my little four legged friend, he is always happy to see me. Perhaps he is the only being on the planet that I please that much. Cool!

Buster is a barker. God help anyone that thinks they can casually walk in front of our house. It doesn’t even have to be anything real, Buster seems to hallucinate things that need barking at. I’d like to say that his barking is an endearing quality but it really isn’t.

Every night, just before bedtime he has to go into the back yard and bark at the wind. Well, I used to think he would bark at the wind but now I am not so sure. I recently rewatched Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part I and Hermione casts protective spells around their campsite as soon as they arrive.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HdRs73qCcMo

Maybe that is what Buster is doing late at night. Perhaps he is a mighty dog wizard and for reasons I can’t begin to understand he feels compelled to protect our home and ourselves. So far in all the years we have had Buster no one has broken into the house and we have been more or less healthy. I suppose that could be a coincidence, but I kind of like the idea that I have a magical dog that protects me and all that I own.

It makes the humiliation of picking his shit up a little easier to take.