Arrogant Prick

Who are you?

Are you the person that you show to the world, the person that only those close to you know or are you the private you that no one is allowed to know?

We all wear personality masks to get through the day. When you are at work you have a well crafted persona that will either help with your career or help to get along with the people you have to work with. You want the boss to see you as a well trained confident worker that can handle almost anything that is put before you. You don’t want your co-workers to think you are some corporate toady with a perpetual brown nose, but someone they can rely on for assistance when needed and to have their back when it is needed.

I never wanted to know too much personal information about those I worked with because then I would have to respond in one way or another. Getting too personal at work can lead to problems of that co-worker who needs help moving on the weekend or wants you to come to his party to liven things up. Just what you need, an invitation to an admittedly boring party. Just let me do my job and let’s keep our issues in life to ourselves. Well, unless you are really hurting and need someone to bounce shit off of…I guess.

Home is where you can be yourself. Right? Not always, you need to be a husband, a father, a coach, a bike mechanic, a carpenter, a plumber and an accountant. I was never very good at all of those, but over the years I learned some things. You have to be the disciplinarian sometimes and a playmate at the same time. You learn over the years what you can and can’t reveal about yourself and your feelings. Sometimes what you reveal would cause concern that you don’t want. There is no reason everyone should have the same worries as you.

You have an image to project and protect. Everyone have beliefs about the roles they are playing. A husband behaves like this and these are his duties. A wife cooks and cleans works, is the voice of reason (?) and each of you supports the other. Mostly…

Of course there is the private you that is kept private. There are tribes that believe you should never give your true name to a stranger because then they would have power over you. In some ways that is what I am trying to say. Without the masks we are vulnerable and susceptible to being hurt both emotionally and physically.

The private you is afraid of being rejected, the dark, not being taken seriously, being taken advantage of, being laughed at, being incompetent and of just being less of a person than you should be. There are heights that you didn’t obtain for fear of failure.

Of course some people are just the person that you see on the outside. I can’t decide if these people are emotionally stable or just arrogant pricks that have never taken the time to examine their lives. I’m going to go with the arrogant prick idea.