Friends

I have been blessed with friends during my life. Never too many (can you have too many) but as many as I can handle.

It seems that for me I can only handle two or three close friends at a time. I don’t know why, I just have never had more than a couple of really good, close friends at any one time. I have had lots of friends I wish I was closer with, but more often than not, distance played a role in keeping the numbers down. I have friends who mean a lot to me and they have been close for decades, it is just that I hardly ever see them. Every year I make a pact with myself to keep in touch with these special people and every year I just don’t. I am not a bad person, just one that lacks drive.

My first friend that I remember lived right next door to me and we quite literally grew up together. We have been close on and off throughout the years and currently we are Christmas Card friends. Whenever we do get together it is like pulling on an old sweater, warm and comfortable. I met a lot of friends while I was in school and still count many of those people as friends to this day. I suspect that if I had been less self aware and more open to others, I would have even more friends from that era.

When school was over, I made friends from work and for the most part got on very well with all of the people. Some more than others of course, but by this time not only was it important that I liked the friends, but Louise had to like them as well. Lucky for me, our taste in friends run along the same lines. Again, there were just a couple of friends at a time, not planned, just the way things worked out.

Since we had kids, pretty much all of my friends come from meeting parents of their friends or parents of kids that were in the same activities. Louise and I did a lot of volunteering over the years for those activities and have made and kept many of those friends. However, kids grow up and the potential friend pool dries up as well. I don’t get involved like I used to and it is rare that I make any new friends. Lots of acquaintances, but few real friends.

In the past month, we met a fellow and his wife while we were in Hawaii that were good material for being a friend. Well, they would be if they lived in the same country as we do. I suppose I should keep in touch, it isn’t that hard today with all the different forms of instantaneous communication we have available. Maybe I will.

Last week, while dropping Tornado off at play school, Louise and I met a couple that were dropping their granddaughter off at the same playschool. We started a conversation in the parking lot and visited for 45 minutes. Louise and this fellow were both from the same small town in Saskatchewan and both lived in Windsor. He was even friends with Louise’s brother George. Small world! Two days later we talked again and arranged to meet on the following Monday after dropping the kids off and have coffee at Tim’s.

Unfortunately, when we dropped Tornado off our new potential friends were no shows. I suppose that there could have been a sick kid, change in travel plans, death or illness in the family or at our age, they just may have forgotten the coffee date. We went and had coffee anyways, but I kept looking out the window kind of hoping that they would drive up just a little late. The coffee in the cup kept getting lower and lower as the time ticked away, until finally I had to admit that they weren’t coming and I had finished my coffee. Oh well…

I regret not meeting them and I suppose this is what it feels like to be stood up. It’s my first and hopefully the last time I have my friend hopes dashed and ride this emotional roller coaster; by myself…