New Years Eve 2014

Ahhh…New Years Eve 2014.

Anything can happen on this most magical of days. This is the last day of the year and if you aren’t paying attention it quickly turns into the first day of the next year. It really isn’t a magical day, it should be, but I suspect all of the magic has been used up by Christmas and the world needs to stockpile a little more energy before it can freely dispense magic again.

That doesn’t mean that it is a normal day by any means. It is one of the few days (nights) of the year when you can get stupid drunk and no one will look at you sideways. In fact, getting stupid is pretty much expected. The level of stupid tends to peak in the early twenties and taper off as the years pass. I personally used up my entire stupid quota by the time I turned thirty. I’m still stupid; I just am stupid without needing any external help.

It was an odd little day though. I was waiting for my buddy to do his banking, sitting in one of the leather easy chairs they have and watching people mill around. Well, they mostly stood in line like so many cattle, shuffling an inch or two at a time. Eventually they get to go to the teller and do whatever business they need to do. There was a woman whose head was much too large for her body that was talking to a woman whose body was much too large for her head. I couldn’t hear what they were talking about, but I imagine the one said “Oh my, but don’t you have a large head!” The second woman would have replied “I’d much rather have a head with the capacity for a big brain than a head that would disappear if you turned up your collar.” They wished each other a Happy New Year as they walked away from each other, so I don’t imagine they were actually talking about the size of each others head. My buddy finished his banking just as an old guy started to ask me how much I made on my old age pension and I made a break for the door.

 

We went for coffee after that and as is my way, I was watching the people wandering in and out of Tim’s. I saw this guy get out of his car who had a Hulk Hogan style moustache. He also had on a tight black dress with a zipper up the side and a tight blue sweater. I told my buddy that this guy has a dress on and when he came into the restaurant, Ken said he also has pretty big breasts. What? I didn’t turn around to look, I just watched the other guys in the restaurant as they caught sight of this guy. It was pretty interesting and I got to see him as he left with his coffee.

Now, I don’t care how someone dresses or if they are in the middle of a sex change. You have to do what makes you feel happy in this life, no matter what it is that makes you happy. I just thought it odd that he hadn’t really committed one way or the other. If he is trying to be a woman, then shave your face. If you are trying to be a man then don’t wear a tight dress. If you are trying to screw with the people at Tim’s, he did a pretty good job. I wonder if he is going to a party tonight, and I wonder if the rest of the party would be similarly dressed. It is times like this that having a tiny spy cam would be helpful.

I can’t help but think that at some bar tonight as the clock gets closer and closer to 12:00, there will be some guy looking at the guy from the restaurant and telling his buddy “I’d do him!”