A Long Rest

I have been thinking about life today.

More specifically, I have been thinking about my life and when it will end. There was a time when I thought I would live forever. To tell the truth I just didn’t think about dying and I couldn’t conceive of a world without me in it. Where would be the fun in that?

Now, I can’t conceive of a life without end. How horrible that would be, watching all that you know and love turn to dust while you keep doing whatever it is that you do. I suppose that somewhere in the second century you would find a reason to keep living. That isn’t going to happen, so I don’t have to concern myself with it tonight.

I watched some high school kids today and they really have no clue about what life is all about. They are hedonistic, concerned with the now and strive for stimulation of their senses. That is how it should be I guess, it was for me and probably for you to. It isn’t until you have accumulated some years and experience that you begin to look for the answers to those tough questions life has in abundance. Generally, you start getting part of the answers and eventually there is a certain “rightness” about that part of the equation.

What complicates things is that the answers aren’t the same for all of us, because we aren’t travelling the same path. The answers are pretty individualized and I imagine that I will be the only one to know when I have the answer. What I don’t know is what will happen when I have all of the answers that I am looking for? Will I die? Will those answers lead me to more difficult questions? Will I teach the knowledge that I have gained? They say that a teacher will appear to you when you are ready for that teacher. Am I the student or the teacher? Am I both?

What will happen if your life is cut short for one reason or another? Was it meant to end early with questions going unanswered? Do you get a “do-over”? For that matter, if you do find the answers, then what? Do you go somewhere while you are graded? Will I have to put up with a critique of my methodology?

“Your answer is good as far as it went, perhaps you should expand on the answer.”

Is there an equivalent of summer school for those life lessons? Do you have to attend? Would 50% be a pass? Pass to what or where? I was held back (failed) in grade ten and didn’t like it very much. I had to sit in class with kids a year younger than myself and the friends from the year before were doing things more advanced that I didn’t understand. Jokes that I wasn’t a part of.

It took a while, but I became friends with those new kids and found that I understood the work much better the second time around. Maybe the life lesson that I had to learn was I could adapt and thrive in any given situation. I might need to get a refresher course on that one.

Well, I hope I don’t learn too quickly, I would like to watch Hurricane, Tornado and Tsunami grow to adulthood with rheumy eyes. There will be a time I will welcome a long rest, just not now and not until I get some answers.