There is a scene in Alfred Hitchcock’s “Birds” where they
have to walk past all of the birds sitting on fences, trees, wires and pretty
much anywhere a bird can sit. All is quiet, a little too quiet if you know what
I mean. Hitchcock had a way of terrifying you that relied on sound effects and
built up tension. He had no need of chainsaws or crazy people with hockey
masks, although there were a few crazy people in his movies. The one scene that
is sheer genius and terror is the playground scene. It still gives me the
creeps and I first saw it forty five or fifty years ago. Sheesh!!!
Yesterday was a weird day for birds around my house. No one
was attacked or killed to my knowledge, but the birds were behaving a little
different. Normally, we will have a few sparrows raising a family in one of the
birdhouses in the front yard with the odd noisy Magpie pissing me off from time
to time. Yesterday, we had our house sparrows, five or six Robins, four magpies
and something with a red head and neck.
They weren’t hanging around in the trees, but were walking
about on the lawn. Every now and then they would peck half-heartedly at the
ground and then walk on. When they passed by each other they didn’t so much as
nod “Was’up?” I had the impression that they were waiting for something and
they weren’t really looking forward to the “something” at all. Perhaps they had
plans to meet up at the school yard to terrify some kids later on in the day. I
suppose that it is possible that I am famous in the bird world and these were
paparazzi birds waiting to get a picture from some unguarded moment.
When I was much younger, I went out with friends hunting
birds with BB guns. Well, we hoped to get some birds, but the sad reality is
that the safest place for a bird in those days was on a branch right in front
of me and a BB gun. Not only couldn’t I hit a bird, I’m pretty sure I would
have trouble hitting the ground. Even if I did hit a bird, he would just shake
it off and fly away from the kid yelling “I GOT IT! I GOT IT! I DID!”
They could hate me for my intentions, but I doubt that birds
have fifty year old memories. I don’t, and my brain is twenty times larger than
the average birds. Probably…
I have observed that birds of all kinds are walking more now
than they ever have before. I guess they might be stressed about the security
bullshit you have to go through to fly anywhere in this day and age. They might
just be tired after a log summer of building nests, feeding the chicks and
flying all around the neighbourhood. Maybe they are just resting the old wings
in preparation for that long flight south. Maybe.
There is some scientific data that suggest birds are direct
descendants of the dinosaurs. I can believe it; I don’t trust birds and I doubt
that I would have trusted dinosaurs. Why would I? The moment it got tough being
a dinosaur, they morphed into birds, no staying power or conviction. Do you
think that the birds have decided that it’s time to revert back to being
dinosaurs?
I hope not! We aren’t the hunters that we once were and
quite frankly, the birds might be pissed about how they fill a large section of
the four food groups. We just might become the main course in the not too
distant future.
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