I Feel Like a Dick

This is the first day that it really feels like autumn, and to tell you the truth, warm and sunny beats cool and grey every time. Can’t complain though, I want to but I have been told I can’t. I have decided that I am going to have a more positive and upbeat attitude to winter this year. I am going to make an effort to embrace the cold and relish all of the activities I can only do in the winter. Yep… that’s what I’m going to do…yep, uh-huh.

We have a love seat sitting with it’s back to a large front window that Buster can often been found perched on watching the world go by. Sometimes he sleeps in the sun, sometimes he watches us as we go about our lives, and sometimes he barks his fool head off at the outside world. Sometimes I tolerate the barking, sometimes I order him outside and sometimes I just lose my shit!

I have been losing it a lot more of late, and I am not sure if it is because Buster is barking more or I have less tolerance for the barking. It has become painfully clear that he doesn’t listen to me when I tell him to stop barking. I don’t think he ever did listen, but before he seemed to care a little. Now, he doesn’t seem to give a shit what I think. Somehow, Louise just ignores both of us, but to be frank, I think she is on Busters side.

In the past, I have moved the love seat so that it is on the opposite side of the living room. That works in that Buster can’t bark at what he can’t see. It doesn’t work on an interior design level; I think the living room has a better feng shui with the love seat against the window. I kind of like having Buster perched up there as well, it feels sort of Norman Rockwell…ish. Plus, any would be thieves see a dog and might think some where else will just be an easier score without a dog to deal with. When Buster dies, I might just get a real looking stuffed toy dog to sit on top of the love seat.

Pulling the blinds doesn’t work because they are vertical blinds and he just sticks his head between the slats and continues to bark. You would think that with all of the yelling and pulling of blinds he would take the hint. He just looks at me as if to say “I don’t give a shit what you think, I’m barking at that grey cat!”

A couple of weeks ago, I overturned the love seat so that he couldn’t use it to look out the window. My thinking was that if he can’t see, he can’t bark. I did this while Louise was watching TV. I made sure that she had an unobstructed view. I couldn’t have watched, but at least while I was working on the computer there wouldn’t be any barking. There was barking! When I stomped into the living room, Louise was watching TV and Buster was watching me from the top of the overturned love seat. I was livid! Buster was exultant! Louise was amused!

Today I figured out how to thwart Buster’s barking and not wreck the feng shui of the house at the same time. I took the cushions and placed them on top of the love seat leaning against the window, leaving no room where a small dog could stand or sit. I finally won! I out smarted something with a brain the size of a walnut and it only took me eight years. I explained to him that is why humans are at the top of the food chain and dogs do our bidding. Well, I had to go out and clean up his crap from the back yard before I explained, but I think he got the point.

You would think I’d feel exultant, but instead I kind of feel like a dick. I just put the cushions back in place and Buster is barking at leaves blowing across the lawn I guess. Louise is watching TV and I just turned itunes up on the computer.

Everything is back to normal