A Nobel Prize With My Name On It

Yesterday was one of those cool, rainy, gray days that are just perfect for getting those little jobs around the house done that you have put off while the sun was shining. It is also a perfect day for doing spring cleaning, since there is a gray feeling in your mind anyways. Unfortunately for the spring cleaning and all of those little, unfinished jobs, a cool, rainy, gray day is also just made for watching a good movie on the TV. Guess which activity won out?

I had settled on a movie, “Whitehouse Down”, made myself a cup of tea and popped some popcorn. I was in rainy day heaven! The cup of tea drained and cooled off, the movie was moving along with the President in constant danger, and the popcorn had disappeared down to the unpopped kernels. Lately, there seems to be more unpopped kernels than ever before, and with my teeth getting weaker and weaker, a solid bite on one of these kernels could cost a thousand dollars or more.

 

We have an ottoman/coffee table where we store couch blankets and mess when people come over without giving us enough prior warning to clean. I was grabbing one of those blankets to ward off the chill, but somehow before I closed the top, the bowl with the unpopped kernels slipped out of my buttery fingers into the space just emptied by the blanket. SHIT!

I could have put the movie on pause, got out the vacuum and a damp cloth to clean up the spill right away. I could have, but instead I sat back on the couch, pulled the blanket over me and took a sip of cold tea.

“Whitehouse Down” is one of those movies with a lot of gratuitous gunplay, so when I heard popping I didn’t think anything of it. There came a point when the guns kept firing during one of the few quiet parts of the movie, so I paused the movie to listen. The popping was coming from the ottoman. I lifted the lid and popcorn the size of footballs came shooting out, quickly covering the floor. I saw Buster run off with a kernel almost as big as he is in his mouth. I just held one, broke off a piece and took a bite. It was popcorn all right, but it was just huge!

 

I figured that there must be some kind of heat source in the ottoman and maybe being a large enclosed space it enables the popcorn to pop super large. I know that goldfish will grow in size to fit the pond or aquarium they are in, so it kind of makes sense that popcorn would do the same thing.

I had stumbled on something that could change the world! When you go to the theatre to see a movie, no longer do you buy a box of popcorn with butter drizzled on top, you can now buy a kernel each and it will come with a container of butter to dip the popcorn in. I’m sure it would make good insulation for a home. Maybe it could be used to clean up oil spills since it does such a great job of soaking up butter. Easy to transport and it’s bio-degradable to boot.

I’m sure that’s the tip of the iceberg for uses of this product and others will surly come up with many other uses. I will allow it to be used by all who want to for the benefit of mankind. Could it end world hunger? Maybe.

 

Who knows, maybe there will be a Nobel Prize with my name on it. Well, there might be if it weren’t all a dream. I should have known it was a dream when the ottoman managed to pop the corn.