Lock Picking 101

I just spent less than five minutes watching a 12 year old boy giving instructions on how to pick a lock. Another five minutes making the tools I will need and two minutes finding a lock to practice on. With any luck, I should be able to get into my house any time I want to.

I know what you are thinking, “Don’t be an ass Ken, just use your key.” Sure, I could do that, but keys aren’t nearly as much fun as picking a lock. I have wanted to be able to do this almost my entire life. Every time I see someone on a TV show pull out a tiny leather wallet with an assortment of lock picks, select one or two and before you can say felony, the door is open.

Wouldn’t it be great to be walking along a street in a rainstorm, seeing someone with an armload of groceries, a crying kid and let’s say a wet dog and be able to help them get into their house? Sure the woman would more than likely call the cops the minute your back was turned, but for those few minutes before you were face down on the wet sidewalk, you would be a hero.

I’m not sure whether I like all of this kind of knowledge on the internet free to anyone with a wifi connection and a phone. I guess we should be thankful that most people are basically lazy SOB’s and avoid any kind of effort at all. I like that I can learn things from just plain people who are desperate to share their knowledge. I think I can some minor repairs on the car and house, with the appropriate instruction. I’ve learned how to open Dudley padlocks, so this is really just an extension of that knowledge.

I don’t know if picking locks is a skill that I will ever master, but I’m willing to give it a few hours of my time, if only to be able to say that picking a lock isn’t as easy as it looks on TV. Hell, if a 12 year old kid can do it in ten seconds, then I should be able to pick a lock some time before I die.

Who knows, it may be the only way I can get through the Pearly Gates.