Catch

It occurred to me today that after six decades I have finally become something of a “catch”. Yes, there are still many millions that are more of a “catch” than I am, but there are millions that are much less of a “catch” than I am too.

 

I suppose that as more and more men die off, I will become even more desirable until I become the most eligible man on earth. That is assuming I live long enough of course. Jireomon Kimura, the most desirable man on earth died on Wednesday and had reached an age of 116. Last year when asked to what he attributed his extreme old age, he babbled something about he is always looking to the sky. No Jireomon, that is how you go blind and trip over roots or cracks in the sidewalk. Jireomon was a postal worker which kind of gives me something to aim for and it explains the comment about looking towards the sky. He’s nuts! If I can live to be 116, then I will have collected the Post Office pension for 61 years and CPP for about 56 years. That will be a life well spent!

I suppose the trouble with being a “Catch” is that you probably don’t want to be caught. Well, at least not once you pass 100. The new oldest man, Ghareman Pardis, lives in England and is 113 years old. He has been married for 68 years, has many kids, grandkids, great grandkids and great-great grandkids. Sorry ladies…he’s taken.

 

I don’t expect to become the worlds oldest anything, but still, you never know what the universe is going to throw at you. I guess I am a catch for several reasons. Oh, before I go any further, just like Ghareman Pardis, I too am taken. Lucky Louise!

Probably the most important thing is that I am alive. It can’t be stated enough that being alive is a prerequisite to being a catch. I have my health and although it isn’t perfect, there isn’t anything really wrong with me physically. I have a full set of teeth, most of them I paid for myself. I don’t have a job, but then I don’t really need one because I have that pension. I can sort of cook. Well, I can follow a recipe and if told to I will even add spice to make it have some kind of taste. I have sense of humour which I am told is desirable, but past experience has disproved that.

I`m not all sunshine though, and I have been told (too often) that I am not perfect. The  things that are against me being a catch are pretty much the same things that make me a catch. I am alive and have my health which means I am alive and have my health. I continually whine about my teeth and they are an ongoing problem in my life that just won`t go away. I don`t work, so I would be underfoot all of the time and quite frankly I almost never shut up. I do like to cook, but I`m not that good at it and I suspect I am the only one who likes my food.

This being a catch isn`t a big deal anyways, as I have been assured that Louise is going to keep me for the foreseeable future. There are mysteries in life. I keep expecting her to come to her senses, but I guess as long as we keep laughing together we will stay together.

I guess I had better go and do what “catches” do at night. What do “Catches” do at night?