Trust

I am not really what you would call a trusting person. I'm not proud of the fact, that is just the way it is. I have tried to be more trusting, but there seems to be something within me that precludes the unbridled trust I see in others.

I can't determine when I started to mistrust those around me, but I suppose that it might have been when those I love or like behave in a way that leaves me disappointed. Perhaps when I was very young and mom and dad would say “Maybe” but I heard “YES”. Every time one of those maybes turned into a no, I lost a little respect and trust. Just a tiny bit and now that I am an adult I can understand what happened intellectually, but that little boy inside me has trouble with the concept of trust.

I shouldn’t say that I don’t trust people, because I do trust them. I trust politicians to make promises that they can’t keep and then not keep them. I trust businesses will intentionally misrepresent their product and then charge double what it is worth. I trust employers to look after their interests first and formost and the employees interest last. They will be real sorry they had to let you go, but “You understand. Business is business.” I trust the bank to squeeze every last cent that they possibly can out of you, unless of course you are filthy rich and then they will fall over themselves kissing your ass. I trust the snow plows to hit the roads about three hours too late to be effective. I trust the car to break down when I can least afford it to. I trust people to drive like assholes whenever they get in front of me. I trust that there will never be a cop handy when you need one. I trust that if it can go wrong, it will go wrong.

I trust that people will let me down when I least want them to. I trust that people won’t react in the way I expect them to. I trust that people will do what is best for themselves no matter who gets hurt.I trust that people will make you a promise with every intention of keeping it, but will break that same promise with the phrase “You understand, don’t you?” I trust that I won’t understand and I never will. I trust that kids will break your heart sometimes.

I trust that tomorrow will be a new day full of possibilities. I trust that my dog will always be happy to see me. I trust that I will always be happy whenever I find some shiny thing at the side of the road. I trust that a bargain will keep me happy for days.

One of my favourite sayings that I can’t live up to is “There are two types of people in the world, the optimist and the pessimist. Of the two, the pessimists are right more often than not, but the optimists enjoy life more.”

I trust that I will continue to try and be an optimist. I’m not sure that I will succeed.