Go To The Light

Today while trying to think of something to write tonight, I was pulling a blank. Oh, there is no shortage of things to write about, and I am never going to exhaust my opinions on pretty much any topic under the sun. “I’m against it”, “the kids today” and “when I was a boy” will keep me in blogs until I die. I thought about Halloween, its history and how it has changed over the years, but it is too far away, a week and a half which is forever in blogland.

I do think that it might be fun to talk about ghosts. I am not sure what to think about ghosts, whether they do or don’t exist. Sometimes I believe and other times I just can’t believe that anyone would be so stupid to believe in the spirits of the deceased hanging around.

Why would someone that has passed on (hopefully to a better place) want to hang around some dingy old mansion or castle? You rarely hear about anyone haunting a four-plex or a modern apartment building. Even if I died in my house, I think that I would go out and find the nicest place in the city to live my ghostly years in. Why not? It’s not as if you can really communicate with the people in the house anyways, or at least it seems that way to me. It would be pretty cool if you could have conversations with the dead.

“What did you do today?”

“Oh, I scared the shit out of a kid down the block that was being a dick to his parents.”

“How did you scare him?”

“I talked to him through his puppet and made him blind for a couple of minutes. How about you?”

“Well, I watched some TV and did a little carving, nothing much.”

“You know, you shouldn’t really waste your life like that. There is a whole lot of nothing to do once you die and believe me kids with Ouija boards don’t come around as often as you might think.”

I don’t need to listen to ghosts to get advice that I have no intention of following. Stupid ghosts! When you think of it, it doesn’t make sense that one of the departed would shake chains and pass through walls for no good reason. I think if I were a ghost I would run through homes that were on fire and warn people to get out, maybe appear in someone’s car and tell them they are driving too fast. That should slow things down.

I have a feeling that ghosts are just created so that we can feel good about dieing. Well, as good as you can feel about dieing, which probably isn’t too good? Nope, I like my ghosts to be like Casper or Patrick Swayze. I wonder if Patrick is a ghost now or if he went to the light. I am pretty sure when it comes my turn I will go to the light.