Evil Little Troll

I just read my online horoscope (no, I don’t believe in that…mostly) and it said that I was creative and imaginative, which is good or at least goodish. It went on to say that I shouldn’t act on every whim or share every thought.

I rarely act on a whim, I know what the definition of a “whim” is, but the word conjures up another image in my mind. I picture it as a creature with tiny feet and a roundish body which is dressed in Lincoln green with a mid to large neck and a goofy looking face that has a mouth too full of teeth, large oval eyes and the head comes to a sharp point which leaves next to no room for a brain. Strange looking creature!

I just read that last paragraph, and I suppose that I should be concerned, but some words just don’t seem to fit the definition that they are given. Of course I can’t think of any others right now, but trust me they are out there.

The part of the horoscope that really concerns me is the not sharing every thought part. That is kind of the whole idea behind blogging isn’t it? I don’t share every thought that I have, mainly because that would give “them” cause to institutionalize me. The longer I write this blog however, more of my thoughts are bound to creep out. I used to worry about being institutionalized, but now I am pretty sure I will be able to live out my life without a straight jacket or a room with padded walls.

There are no guarantees of course, but with all of the nut bars and whack-a-doodles prancing around, the chances of noticing me get slimmer every day. Just yesterday I saw a woman walk into a crowded room, take out here phone and then say “Would you mind being quiet? I can’t make out what they are saying.” My initial response after disbelief of course was that she probably shouldn’t have come into the crowded room to make her call. The abbreviated form of that sentence is “Fuck You!” In fact I was just about to say more or less the same thing when my buddy told her that he didn’t care about her conversation at all. She looked like an angry dwarf, but really, like an angry dwarf the most that she could do was get angry.

That reminds me of the guy that ran into the back of a smart car at a red light. The door opened and a little person got out and stomped over to the driver’s window of the car that hit him and said “I am not happy!” The guy in the car asked “Which one are you then?” There is some Randy Newman in all of us I suppose. Well, of course I mean in big people. There is no exact count of the number of little people in the world, but a rough estimate is between 20,000 and 175,000 world wide, or 1 in 40,000.

 

I have been thinking of doing some research on why so many cultures have tiny magical creatures as part of their myths and legends. There are leprechauns, fairies, pukwudgies, gnomes, lares, goblins, gremlins and of course Gary Bettman. You would be hard pressed to find a nastier, meaner, more arrogant little troll in any myth or fairy tale. “Gather round children and hear the story of how the evil little troll stole from the poor and gave to the rich, while single handed he managed to ruin the hopes and dreams of Canadian children and their beer drinking dads.”