How Did I Do

This morning Louise and I had breakfast at Timmies before she headed down to volunteer at the World Outrigger Races taking place this week. When we finished, I went home to do a few last minute things before heading out to Chestemere to help my son-in-law build his deck. He could have replaced me with two 2 X 4’s and a short plank, but it is nice to feel wanted and needed.

One of the last minute things that I had to do was to water Stan’s garden. Stan is my neighbour and he asked me if I would look after his mail, grass and garden while he was gone. He has done this before, so I was astounded when he once again asked me. Plants and I have an agreement, I don’t ask them to do anything but sit there and do nothing and they should expect the same from me. It is quite an obligation which I am barely capable of. One year I forgot that he had gone until the day he came back and just managed to get the mail in the house, the lawn cut and the garden watered before he and his wife drove up. I almost felt guilty taking the big bag of cherries he gave me as a reward.

So, as I am walking over there I began to think about why I am here. Not why I was walking along the street; that was to water the garden. I mean why am I actually on the planet? To what end? Is there a purpose? Is it possible for me to know what that reason would be? That’s pretty heady stuff to think about on a one minute walk.

I have wondered this before and so have untold numbers of others throughout history. I am not complaining, I would rather be here than no where, but it would be nice to have a purpose. There are the standard answers about creating a better world, doing God’s work, none of your business, just get back to work and be productive.

I don’t think that I am capable of creating a better world by myself. I can barely fix the leaky tap in the bathroom, so I am pretty sure the solution of how to protect the endangered species of the world is beyond me. I have opinions of course and I am not really shy about letting people hear them, but I don’t expect anyone to actually take heed. There are many people that are much smarter than I and they haven’t a fucking clue what’s going on so really, what hope is there for me?

I think we should all do our own work and if indeed God would like me to help Him it would be nice to get a letter of commendation, a gift basket or even a raise. I like to help people, but it is nice if they appreciate the help like my son and son-in-law do. If I am to help god then a job description would be nice. Besides, which god am I to help? The Catholic God, the Baptist God, the Jewish god, Vishnu, Samantabhadra, The Greek Gods and the Roman Gods seem to have fallen out of favour, but I can’t count them out. There are more gods than you can shake a stick at (not a good idea by the way). If the line up at the grocery store is any indication, I am bound to pick the wrong god. I will wait for a letter of intent.

None of your business is more than likely the best answer that I am going to get.

I am just going to try and be the best Ken that I can be. I will try to treat people nicely, even if they are assholes. I will try to make this little corner of the planet a little happier for my being here. I will water Stan`s lawn when he asks. If someone needs anything I can provide (without me or mine doing without) I will see what I can do. I will shovel the snow off of the sidewalks every time it snows. I will love Hurricane and Tornado unconditionally and forever (well, my forever). Oh, and other members of my family too. Mostly. I will try to be a better person so that when I look in Gods face, which I am sure to do sooner than later, I will be able to smile and say “How did I do this time?”