I Will, Come Christmas

My buddy and I went for a coffee at Tim Horton’s after we finished working today. It isn’t really work, but I do get paid for being there and taking up space, so I guess it is work. We got our coffees, sat down and began to solve some of the more pressing problems that are plaguing our city, province and country. We had really just begun when there was a minor fender bender just out in the parking lot.

It seems that this one idiot thought that the drive through exit was the entrance and upon realizing her mistake, she began to back up. Meanwhile, just in her blind spot, there was another idiot who decided to back out without shoulder checking. To tell you the truth, I didn’t see the accident itself, but if there was ever a “NO fault” accident, then this was it. Both drivers were equally to blame and should really have their licenses revoked due to stupidity.

I love it when this kind of thing happens, because it is kind of like dinner theatre. I get to sit comfortably with my coffee and watch the drama unfold. There were additional players to this farce as well. Three cops were having their break and doing their best to ignore the whole situation. The customers at Tim’s would look from the idiots to the cops, idiots…cops, idiots…cops. My buddy and I were trying to figure out who would be the first to go up to the cops and point out that there was an accident just outside. To my surprise, no one did.

It was the rookie cop who got up and went out to try and clear the traffic jam. The other two cops looked at the rookie as he left and just shook their heads and chuckled. Ten minutes later, the rookie came back in and the two idiots were still pointing and looking. Not only can you not help “stupid”, you can’t prevent it or even reason with it. Stupid simply has to run it’s course like any other natural disaster.

Eventually the drivers moved their cars and a customer that was outside watching the whole thing, came in and told the cops that he had taken pictures of the whole thing with his phone. I mentioned to Ken that it was odd that this guy didn’t approach the people involved in the accident at all. Another thing that was odd about this guy is that he was wearing those water shoes with toes. In all other respects, he was dressed normally, and for all intents and purposes, he seemed normal. He wasn’t, but he did seem to be.

Every time that we are at the coffee shop and there are a bunch of cops, Ken tells me that it just doesn’t look right. I agree, but they deserve a break too, even though all they have done all day is sit on their asses driving around looking for donut shops . Besides I tell him, “They are all packing heat, do you really want to be the guy to piss them off?” Ken mumbles something about it isn’t right and we change the conversation to wondering what the Muslims pray about five times a day. The Christian God seems to be over worked dealing with prayers three or four times a year, I can’t imagine what He would do if we bugged him five times a day. Probably send a flood or destroy Las Vegas. 

I thank God that I don’t have to pray five times a day, or at least I will come Christmas.