The Rusty Pelican

The Rusty Pelican is a restaurant about five minutes down the road from here by car. This is where we went for dinner tonight. I am always a little nervous when going out with other people that have a larger income than I do. Me being cheap and all.

When we pulled into the driveway of the restaurant, there was a sign that stated "Valet Parking Only". Cha-ching! I have never, ever, ever parked in a valet parking lot, so I had nothing to go by except what I had seen on TV where James Bond tosses his keys at a guy and tells him to keep it running. I imagine he would give about $20, but you know me, there is no way I wanted to give anyone $20 to drive my car ten feet. turns out it was only $4 and gratuities of course. Less than I thought, but more than it would be worth. Oh well, I guess you only live once and if you are living once then make someone else park your car. Never say never.

The second problem with the Rusty Pelican is that it is a seafood restaurant. Some of you probably don't mind eating seafood and some might even like seafood, and I have heard stories of people that just LOVE seafood. Crazy, fish lovin' bastards!

When I was a kid, I read a book about the war in the Pacific. Of course I am talking about the great war. You know, WWII. There was this Japanese submarine that was stalking the allied warships and trying its very best to send them to the bottom of the ocean. The Japanese Captain was having his dinner, rice and fish of course, when a bone became lodged in his throat. It was very serious! The Japanese sub came to the surface and flew a white flag of surrender in order for the Captain to get the medical help that he needed. You see where I am going with this I guess. I never want to be responsible for my crew to have to surrender just because I was eating fish.

I will eat fish, if I have to. The scenario where I would eat fish is this. The world has suffered through a civilization destroying catastrophe. The governments have collapsed and our society has been thrown back into the dark ages. I am sitting around a fire that is burning inside of an old TV set and one of the the people sitting with me turns and says " Would you like the Rat or the Fish?"

I would reply "How old is the rat?"

"We just got it today, but it was rotting in a pool of urine for about two weeks."

"Cow urine or human urine?"

"Human."

"I'll have the fish."

Lucky for me, hidden in the corner of the alternate bar menu, listed in small print was "Hamburger". Of course I took the burger and the rest is history. It was very good! If you are ever out here and are looking for a good burger, you should try this place. I guess if you are one of those fish lovers as well.