Nobody Likes A Know-It-All

“There is nothing like getting old!”

Maybe that should be “There is nothing to like about getting old!”

How about, “Getting old is nothing!”

One thing is for sure, “There is nothing you can do about getting old!”

I have had this pain in my shoulder and elbow for a couple of months now and have gone to my doctor twice and had an ultra sound and X-rays taken and read by a specialist. The conclusion is that there is nothing really wrong other than a very minor swelling. I guess that is nice to hear, but I still have the pain. My doctor said I could go to see a physiotherapist if I felt it would be beneficial. I am sure in another culture she would have said that if I wanted to I could try ingesting polar bear semen. Neither one will do any good, but what the hell.

I can’t help but think that I would have gotten a lot more attention if I were in my second or third decade instead of closing in on my sixth. It is kind of like going to the mechanic and telling him that you hear a grinding metallic noise from the rear right side of the car and having him tell you to keep driving until something falls off. I don’t want anything to fall off! If I had lived a life of debauchery I could understand things falling off, but I was a mailman for god’s sake! I will take more than the recommended dose of ibuprofen and mask the warning signs for now.

One of the good things about getting older is that you have amassed a fair amount of useful knowledge. Oh, you have at least thirty-three times that amount of useless knowledge, but buried in there, is some useful stuff. The problem is that no one actually wants your advice. Well, unless there is no possibility to get the information anywhere else. Then and only then will someone ask. It seems like such a waste.

Maybe that is the secret to success in this life. You have to stay on this planet until you figure out a way to pass on your knowledge to others. I might be on to something here. I have always felt that the whole reincarnation idea is basically sound. You live lives over and over until you accumulate enough knowledge to move on to the next plane of existence. That has always struck me as a trifle selfish. However, if we put in the stipulation that not only do you have to learn these “truths”, you also need to pass them on to help others. This would explain all of the prophets throughout history and why they spent so much of their lives preaching.

Their words are written down and studied for centuries in some cases. Whole religions have sprung up around them with a hierarchy of “priests” whose job it is to explain the mysteries. It would also explain why most of those same prophets met nasty and untimely deaths at the hands of a mob.

Nobody likes a know-it-all.