Type One and A Half

There are two types of people in the world. The first is the kind that when they drop their toast, it lands butter side down on the floor and the second type have the toast land butter side up. I guess I am in a subset of the first type, it still lands butter side down, but on the way it slides down my shirt and pants.

I think that most of us are type one people. When you are in high school, you come out of the exam room feeling pretty good about how you did. However, that feeling quickly disappears as the “Brains” relive the exam in all of its details question by question and none of the answers are the same ones that you put down. How could you have been so wrong so often? I guess that the “Brains” are type two people. They are confident and prepared. Of course there is a subset of them as well, they think they blew the exam, but when you are looking at your paper with a large D-, you see that the subseters are holding up the A+ papers they just got back. Isn’t it funny how you thought that you couldn’t feel any worse than when you got that paper back?

I have a type two friend that did well in school; he actually got 110% on a math exam! How the hell can you get 110%? The bonus questions are there for those of us grasping at straws, not for the idiot savants! If a type one person reaches out and grabs a handful of straws, does he have a snowballs chance in Hell of getting a C? This same guy actually won $100,000 on a scratch ticket once. Normally I would be thrilled that a buddy won the lottery, but of all the people I knew at that time of my life, he was the one that (I perceived) needed it the least. It is like when a lawyer wins the lotto and when asked what he will do with it he replies “I’m not sure, we are in the process of downsizing our house and selling off the condo in Hawaii.”

Some of us get a bonus at work or have a three pay month and it just makes our day. What will we do with it? Have a vacation? Pay the mortgage down? Maybe I’ll buy the kids those expensive jeans/toys/gadget that they have been bugging us for? The possibilities are endless. When you live month to month, you simply don’t have any extra so when you do get some money, there are almost too many choices. That feeling doesn’t last long for the butter side down people. That is the moment when the car needs new tires, the furnace goes, there is a death and you just have to fly across the country…full fare. The type two people have bad things happen, but the timing is always better. Their car needs new tires, but a neighbour is getting rid of his new Goodyear’s because he only uses Michelins, “Oh, would you like the Goodyear’s?” The furnace gets repaired with a $1.50 part, but the guy just tells you to forget about the service charge because it was an easy fix. Yes, the two’s have deaths in the family, but generally they get a large bequest in the will.

This morning, I caught the toast butter side down on my slipper. I still ate it. I threw my arm out giving myself a high five when I figured out a solution to a problem that I was having. I was blowing on a piece of plastic trying to dry the paint when it flew in the air and stuck to my shirt. Paint side down! Louise had a good laugh.

I guess I would be type one and a half, and you know…I am good with that.