Sleep Well Tonight Calgary…

It was quite a day in Cowtown. My son and I finished running wires, hooking up thermostats and the install of an electric heater in his basement today. So far, no one was electrocuted, the house hasn’t burnt to the ground and we are still talking to one another. All in all, I would call that a job well done. Congrats Brendan!

For the most part it was a lovely sunny day in the city and the temperature remained at a constant 13º pretty much all day. That is one of the benefits of Chinook winds. The other things that you can expect are violent mood swings from crazy people (women), migraine headaches and inanimate objects taking flight. Quite a few things took flight today.

I just saw a posting on facebook that a friends siding decided to slide off of his shack. I hate it when things become sentient that shouldn’t be sentient. The winds at the top of the Bow building (Calgary’s tallest building) reached speeds of 149 KPH and at the airport winds of 91 KPH. Outside the city winds were clocked as high as 144 KPH. The entire downtown core was closed for the afternoon because of the debris and glass that was falling off of the high rise buildings. Trees and branches were falling all over the city and it wasn’t uncommon to see lawn furniture out for a stroll. The 911 emergency call line at 3:30 had 140 callers queued up. The only good thing about the wind is that it was a Sunday and being Calgary the downtown was virtually deserted anyways. The highways north and south of the city were littered with semis that had flipped onto their sides and eventually the roads were closed.

I have always loved strong winds. When I was a boy I would stand out in the wind and lean into it, trying to see just how far I could lean before I fell on my face. I didn’t say that I was a smart boy. When the wind was particularly strong I would pretend that I was a super hero that fought crime by spitting on the bad guys. The “Horkinator” caused evil doers to tremble in their boots. I am pretty sure that I could spit about from here to the horizon if the wind was really strong.

I was at a party once, and having to pee I went out into the wind and attempted to one up the “Horkinator”. I would be “The Urinator” and not only would I strike fear in the hearts of evil doers, but I would be able to set a world record with this wind at my back. The funny thing is that just standing in a wind like that you cause a vortex which causes any fluid to continually swirl back to its place of origin. It was an untimely and ignominious end for The Urinator.

The wind has died down now and the city and outskirts are repairing the damage that this latest Chinook has caused. I am sure that many people are glad to see the end of this wind, but not me. I am eagerly looking forward to the next time that time that trees bend and shingles fly, for it will be on that day that a new force for good will be born on the planet. “The Vominator” will take his place alongside of “The Horkinator” and “The Urinator”

Sleep well tonight Calgary…