Sally Struthers Phone Number

My, what a strange, strange, strange world it is that we live in. I have heard it said that the more improbable a story is, there is a better than average chance it is true. In fact, of the stories that I tell, the ones that are most believable are more than likely fiction and the really off the wall stuff is the God’s honest truth.

The World Health Organization (WHO) reported that obesity is now killing more people annually than starvation. Huh? How is this even possible? Why should we care? I am pretty sure that obesity is self inflicted. Sure, there are people that are suing McDonalds, Wendy’s, Jack-in-the-Box, A & W and all of the too numerous to mention fast food joints because they make cheap and good tasting food. They don’t force it down your throat! Well, they don’t have to usually because there is enough grease in it so that it will just slide on down.

I have this vision of a Sally Struthers commercial where she is holding a fat baby with cake on its face in some mall food court asking us to PLEASE send money so that this darling baby can go to fat camp. I wonder if they can get the flies to walk on the kids face. Sally will just have to go to the local mall instead of that long and uncomfortable flight to Africa or India. The churches should have a better chance of fund raising too, because the afflicted will be their parishioner’s children and wives. Not only will they be able to send their kids to camp, but they will be able to get a tax deduction for it. Who doesn’t like that?

I have always been a little uncomfortable watching those commercials of the starving kids. It will be far easier to turn the channel when it is just some fat kid in Houston or Iowa. I don’t know about you, but to me, the fat kids on TV are generally obnoxious. I don’t trust them either. You know if your lunch goes missing at work or school it will be some fat adult or his kid that needed a “fix”.

When I was in grade school, the entertainment at recess was chasing the one and only fat kid in the school. He wasn’t really that fat and for some reason, he was never caught. Odd! Well, be that as it may, I have a recurring nightmare about being back at recess and having a schoolyard full of fat kids chasing me. Of course I would never get caught either, but it was irritating. Perhaps they want my lunch money. The jokes on them, dad never gave me money for lunch and there wasn’t anywhere to buy anything anyways.

How could we as a society get in this predicament? We have too much food and too little will power. I am guilty of this myself, but I am at least aware of my problem. It reminds me of when I was a smoker, I would grasp at any excuse in order to justify my addiction. Now, I see that I have replaced one addiction with another. My excuse for over eating is that not too very long ago the affluent would become fat in order to signify their heightened place in society. Maybe, in some dark and twisted area of my brain I think that because I am over weight I am successful.

I guess I am about done with this for tonight; does anyone have Sally Struthers phone number?