I have been thinking about friendship lately. It seems to me that there are varying degrees of friendship and the relationship seems to change over the years, either gaining or waning in intensity.
I have hesitated to write anything about friends for fear that they may take umbrage with what I say and feel that I am making light of their feelings. I treasure all of my friends, from the very casual “How do you do?” kind of friend to the “I need you to help me get rid of a body” variety. Some friends change and get better as you age or they drift away and all that you have left is history. I just want to say that I don’t mean you when I say these things. You know who you are.
My most intense friendships are from my youth, the high school years in particular. Some I talk to rarely and that is too often, whereas there are others that thanks to the social media I am in almost constant contact. The intervening years have passed and we have gotten thicker and to some degree more conservative and (God forbid) adult. I don’t always agree with these people, but when we get together it is as if I am transported back and can almost start a conversation mid sentence from twenty years before. I do love those people! Can’t understand their life and or political viewpoints, but I am sure they forgive my ignorance just as I forgive theirs.
I didn’t develop too many strong work friends, I guess that I tend to compartmentalize my life and for some reason I kept them separate. The funny thing is, that when I think about it, I now have quite a few friends from work. Go figure! Because really, you spend more time with these folks than with pretty much anyone else in your adult life. I didn’t do very much socializing because being away from free baby sitting and also being extremely cheap it was hard to get a night out. I am afraid that I have held Louise back and for that I am sorry. I think it boils down to the fact that I can’t understand why anyone would really want to be a friend so I don’t go the extra mile. My loss I suppose.
There are quite a few people that I have grown close to through the kids. They were my friendship pimps as it were. There was soccer, band parents, scouts and guides and through these organizations I met like minded people that felt an obligation to commit them selves if their child was involved in some activity. We were better humans for that decision I think. I like these people and know that they liked me. Neither of us had to be there but week after week, month after month and year after year we would greet each other with a smile and a joke and if the other needed help there was never any question that you would be there.
I guess when it comes to friends I belong to the Groucho school of thought, “I could never be friends with someone that had the bad taste to have me as a friend.” I don’t think I have ever not helped a friend when they asked. There was a time when I was having coffee after work with some cronies and I was talking about “the good old days”. If you had a job that needed to be done you would buy some beer and pizza, mention the job that needed doing and you would have more than enough people to help. The next day, one of the guys I was talking to mentioned that he was building a deck the next Saturday. Sometimes I hate my mouth! There was nothing to do but show up with the right attitude and tools. We had a good time!
I am hesitant to ask for help from friends, but am offended when I am not asked. Weird! I guess you might say that I am complicated...or retarded. Sorry, mentally challenged. I had a very good friend who was visiting from out east and on the day he was to leave he asked me to call in sick and just hang out for the day. I told him that I couldn’t since I had already taken some time off. I said good bye the night before and left a quiet darkened house the next morning. Three weeks later I got a call in the middle of the night and my best friend’s girlfriend told me that Ken had died in a motorcycle accident. I can’t turn down a friend anymore and try to cherish the moments we have together. Every day I try to be a better human being and treat my friends with the love and respect that they deserve.
Just want to say to my friends thanks for liking me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bOqyygAQSX0
With friends like me your never going to need to look for an enemy. Ken you have always made me laugh and that's what I look for in a friend, if I need misery I'll call my family. B
ReplyDeleteYou know what they say Bri..."With friends like you, who needs enemas?" If you really want misery, then call MY family.
ReplyDeleteWell....what a wonderful tribute to your friends. I am very happy to be counted as one of them.
ReplyDeleteI read your blog entry this morning as I was getting ready for work. And I listened to all the songs.
It made me feel light hearted and started my day quite nicely.
You are very entertaining and I loved how you put the whole thing together.
You got a friend in me...
Thunder K eh? Good one. It is indeed unfortunate that I am unable to express how I truly feel. Someday I will be able to convey what is in my mind.
ReplyDelete