Talk About A Crappy Day

There is an article about a letter carrier in Portland Oregon that defecated on one of his customer’s lawns. The neighbour across the street took the time to photograph the mailman in the process and afterwards. Said letter carrier is now suspended without pay, completely embarrassed, taken off of his mail route and people are demanding that he be fired. This is all without hearing the mailman’s story.

http://southeastportland.katu.com/news/weird/postal-worker-deep-doo-doo-after-using-yard-toilet/439793

I was a mailman and have been in a position where I had to go and there was no where to go. The women that I worked with never had any trouble knocking on doors and asking the person that answered if they could use their bathroom. I can tell you that as a man if anyone answered the door the reply would always be “NO”. I suppose that men are more threatening, but they have the same urgent needs that women have.

I would always try to anticipate my needs, and try to take care of them before I left the depot, but there was always that one time…

I remember a guy that I worked with that must have had too much coffee or tea before leaving and about halfway through his route he needed to pee. When you have been on a walk long enough you find sheltered out of the way spots that you can relieve yourself unnoticed. So my buddy has to go and he has two houses with pretty dense bushes which would shield him from the casual observer. He pushes through the bushes, unzips and releases the pressure. Just about midway through he looks up and sees a woman that was doing her dishes looking out of her window at him. When he told me this his face was still red with embarrassment. He didn’t want to wave the flagpole at this house wife, he just needed to pee.

I was caught in a similar situation once except that I needed to deal with number two. I delivered to a mall which was about three blocks away and most of the time was a handy way station to a courier in need. This particular winter day however I had no advance warning but needed to go NOW! I was three blocks away! I knocked on a door and there was no answer. I went to the next door and the lady there said that she wasn’t comfortable having a stranger use her bathroom. She wasn’t comfortable! Well, I guess I have to walk to the mall.

Mao thought that he and his people went on a long march. I am not sure how long it took me to walk the three blocks and then into the malls restroom, but it felt like hours. I would walk three steps stop and clench my cheeks together. Walk three steps, stop and clench my cheeks together. Walk three steps, stop and clench my cheeks together. I mentioned that it was winter, probably about -20 C, but the sweat was beading on my forehead and dripping off of my nose. I had a prairie dog trying to get out of his hole if you know what I mean.

I have always wondered what my customers must have thought about that crazy mailman that wasn’t delivering the mail but just walking really slowly down the street. I can’t imagine what the mall patrons thought about my “silly” walk. I know that you are wondering, and yes I did make it to the toilet with about a second to spare. Thank God the stall was available.

I don’t know if the guy in Portland was complaining about his work conditions or if that house had told him to stay off of the lawn, but I have gone outside without the benefit of a toilet and it isn’t much fun. It is certainly not what you would choose to do if there was another option. I think that if the “good” neighbour of the story had befriended the mailman in question then this would never had happened because the mailman would have knocked on his “friends” door and there would have been no need to take pictures.

I can remember one situation when a woman phoned in to the depot to complain that her mailman was making snow angels on her front lawn. She went on to bitch about the lazy posties that don't have enough work to keep them busy. When the supervisor could get a word in, he asked where the woman lived. She told him her address and when the supervisor realized just whose route it was. He told the woman that she shouldn't worry, the postie isn't making snow angels, he is having an epileptic seisure and I will call an ambulance but thank you for your concern. 

We are quite a society aren’t we, to think the worst of a person without knowing the whole story. Don’t we just love to see someone else fall and I guess have his life pretty much in ruins. Kind of makes me sad. The next time I hear a story like this, I’m going to give the guy the benefit of the doubt…unless he is a postie.