Squeeze Me And See What Happens

So, since it is the fifth of May, I guess that I should start thinking about yard work, gardens and things that poke their noses out of the dirt.

You know I have never been very good with gardening. I have never made the time what with the kids in sports and just being busy with life. Part of it is the cost I suppose. When you have to buy annuals year after year to get the same effect and if you buy perennials which are supposed to keep coming up year after year, somehow I don’t have any luck with either. The annuals start out promising, and then linger and seem to get the plant version of consumption and of course ultimately die. Well, I guess they are supposed to die eventually, but not this way! The perennials don’t even have that first flush of hope. Some linger, but for the most part they die.

I know, some will say it’s the soil. It is too acidic, it’s too…well…the opposite of acidic, there is too much drainage, there isn’t enough drainage, you need sand, you need clay…Yadda –yadda-dah! I have even been told that plants like to be watered on a regular basis. Plants like? Piss on them! No! That is just what they want.

Well, now that I am retired I have the time to do the gardening. As it turns out, that even though I am retired, I still don’t like gardening at all.

I guess I knew all along. The only reason that I have tulips is because the squirrels dig them up in someone else’s yard and bury them in mine. I would imagine that if my squirrels didn’t have Alzheimer’s or whatever the squirrel version of that disease then they would have eaten the bulbs during the winter. Stupid squirrels! They may be stupid, but they are pretty good gardeners.

Oh, I will rake and turn over the soil, toss in some of my compost and hope for the best. This year I think I will plant some peas, carrots, beets, sunflowers, dill and snap dragons. We have chives and rhubarb and tiger lilies that grow in spite of me. Ewan and Cohen will like the peas and carrots. Brendan and Arwen like the beets, I give the kids dill and the sunflowers just look neat. Oh, and the snap dragons? I have always liked them since I was a kid. You squeeze them and the mouth opens and of course they are pretty.

Just like me!

Squeeze me and see what happens…