Needles in the eye and anal probes

Yeah…I got nothin’.

I woke up and now I’m thinking of bed, but the in between is really just a blur. Kind of like the sixties were for me.

I know that I took my grandson to playschool and picked him up. I did some shopping. I forgot milk by the way. Picked up a movie at the library, “Scott Pilgrim vs. The World”. Personally I am cheering for the world. Let’s see, what else? Oh yeah, I had a coffee and thought about doing something. I did fix Arwen’s knife.

So, I did do things but I don’t really remember getting from A to B if you know what I mean. You know when you come home from work or are going to someone’s house and when you arrive you can’t for the life of you remember exactly how you got there? Well, that was today. Do you think that your brain somehow just slipped into neutral and you were on automatic pilot for the whole day? Possible?

I prefer to think that I was replaced by a doppelganger (ever wonder why the German’s have a word for this?) who lived my life for today while I was taken into a spaceship to be studied. When I was returned his memories of today were just played back to me. I don’t think I was probed, but I would imagine that the aliens would be pretty good at that by now and you wouldn’t have any after effects. I have been thinking about the whole anal probe and alien thing for some time now.

You see a few months ago I had a colonoscopy and it had a dual purpose. One, was to see if there was a problem with my colon. And two, to put me in a study group that is hoping to be able to detect colon cancer with a simple blood test. There is a third reason and it has to do with the proctologist enjoying his job just a little too much. Be that as it may, do you think that all of these alien abductions and subsequent anal probes could be for good? What if these aliens weren’t malicious perverts at all, but just a group of intergalactic proctologists. Sort of a doctor’s without borders on a universal level. That is at least plausible. I know, it doesn’t explain the huge needle in the stomach or the eyeball. That is just fucking weird!

I would be behind this whole inter galactic doctors without borders if only they would do liposuction and the odd tuck or two while you are on the table. Why not? Not that I need any of those procedures, but some of the freaks they pick up could use some help.

So that’s why today doesn’t really exist and if the cops ask you anything you just tell them about the space faring doctors and the anal probes.

Try not to bring me into it…