I Hope Jesus Had A Comfortable Chair

I have been wondering lately just what kind of furniture Jesus would have had.

Somehow I can’t picture Him after a hard day of feeding the masses and healing the sick, kicking off His sandals and sinking into a La-z-boy or a Barcalounger. Now I don’t want anyone to think that I believe that He didn’t deserve comfort, it is just that I don’t think there was comfy furniture 2000 years ago. He might have wanted to relax, but I would bet that He didn’t get a moment to himself just to rest.

Picture Him coming home and saying “Jesus, are my dogs barking or what?” Well, that brings up another question, what would He have said instead of “Jesus”? I mean, I don’t go around saying to my wife “That idiot just cut me off, “Ken” what a dick he is!” It would seem just as strange to Jesus to use his own name to cuss someone out. Who was the prophet before He was? John the Baptist? Jesus probably wouldn’t have liked Baptists. Maybe Moses? Yep, that would sound right. “That idiot in the chariot nearly ran me down, Holy Moses what a dick he is!”

OK, so where was I? Oh yeah the furniture. I’m thinking some three legged stools, a rough bench, maybe a low, wide shelf to sleep on. I guess you could toss an animal hide cushion or three around the room stuffed with straw or feathers. He was pretty poor after all. Mind you, there is the whole carpenter aspect to this story. He could make all of his own furniture and later on when He didn’t have as much time His dad (the human one) could make him some cool things. “Hey Jesus! Your mom and I thought that you might like to have a foot stool. Make sure you use it yourself. You are looking a little run down lately. Don’t let that Judas talk you into letting him borrow it. I don’t trust that guy.” I can picture Mary saying “I hope you like the stool. When are you going to get married?” Nothing changes.

I wonder if the reason there are no modern prophets performing miracles is that they are just too damned comfy. “Yeah, I’ll raise him from the dead when American Idol is over.” THOU SHALT WORSHIP NO OTHER GODS OR IDOLS BUT ME!

Well, I guess we will never know. I hope that Jesus had a comfortable chair…